CREATING AN INTERNET PROFILE.
- Be specific about what you’re after. “I like to think I don’t have a type but all my previous girlfriends have been short, angry blonde women who work in media.”
- Choose a good username. This can be clever: (“PublicEmily”), quirky (“rebooted_robot”), sincere (“GenuineLoyalGuy”) or prosaic (“Single_Devon_ Lady”) – whichever suits.
- Use an original “tagline” (phrase which appears under your username). Examples include: “Prepared to lie about how we met”; “Gardening in heels”; “Virgoans don’t believe in star signs”; “Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light”. (It’s difficult to come up with an original phrase but acceptable to plagiarise songs, books, phrases or sayings.)
- Be unconventional: “Balding, revoltingly ugly, hairy bloke seeks gorgeous blonde 4 happy-ever-after shenanigans.”
- Be creepy: “UK dude, 36, mad biker into tattoos, travel, piercings, woods, paganism and occult horror seeks professional horsewoman.”
- Be too honest: “Do you get angry? I get really angry sometimes.”
- Be too obvious: “I’m looking for someone who loves to travel and see new places, is open-minded, affectionate and fun-loving. They should be comfortable in their own skin but looking for someone special to share life’s adventures with.”
- Rely on a computerised translation program: “I, love cinema to float, dance, travel, a nature to meet friends to be rolled on rollers and even to go shopping.”
- Lose perspective as to what might be attractive: “Own Room Guy: 40-year-old man, seeking woman 20-35. I live in a nice flat in North Cheam with three other guys – I have my own bedroom and I just got my own PC.”
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